Why nothing here will whip
Heavy cream whips because it's roughly 36-40% fat — enough fat surrounding enough tiny air bubbles to hold a stable foam once whisked. None of these substitutes come close to that fat percentage, so while they add richness to a sauce, soup, or baked good, none will fluff up into whipped cream no matter how long you beat them. If whipped cream itself is what you need, there isn't a good substitute — it really does require actual heavy cream (or a dedicated non-dairy whipping cream product built to mimic its fat content).
Which substitute to use when
Milk plus melted butter is the most common go-to — it reconstructs cream's fat content reasonably well for both cooking and baking. Evaporated milk is the simplest option since it needs no mixing, and its concentrated milk solids give a similar richness. Milk thickened with a little cornstarch is the best fit for soups and sauces specifically, since the cornstarch mimics the body and clinging texture heavy cream gives a sauce, even though the fat content is lower.
FAQ
Can I use half-and-half instead? Yes, as a simpler 1:1 swap in most cooked applications — it has less fat than heavy cream (around 10-18%), so sauces will be a bit thinner and it still won't whip, but it's closer to cream than plain milk.
Will these substitutes curdle in a hot sauce the way milk sometimes does?Less likely than plain milk, since the added fat (or starch, for the cornstarch method) helps stabilize the mixture — but as with any dairy substitute, add it off the highest heat and avoid a hard boil to be safe.